How to Manage Those Pesky Life Transitions
"Between letting go (of the old) and successfully launching the new there is a time of confusion and emptiness. People often feel lost during this time, and too often they interpret that lostness as yet another sign that something is wrong. It is simply a sign that they have entered the fertile chaos of the neutral zone" -- William Bridges
“…the fertile chaos of the neutral zone.” I love that phrase. And, who among us is not in some kind of transition right now?
I’ve been working as a professional intuitive for over thirty years. Clients generally make an appointment with me when they’re in the midst of change. I don't know too many people who love to go through a life transition!
About 90% of the calls I receive for intuitive consultations are from people who are contemplating a career change, beginning or ending a relationship, or are coping with a tangible or intangible loss of some kind in their life. I frequently hear people telling me that they're "stuck" or "in a rut" and yet most are in that limbo state called transition.
It often feels like being lost in the woods. There seem to be no obvious markers that say, "this way to safety." If you look up the word "transition" in the dictionary, you'll see definitions like "passing from one to another," "transformation," a "passage," "major change," "shift" and "development." Even though you may feel stuck, these are words that indicate movement and change. Sometimes it seems there is no apparent progress towards your hopes and dreams. You feel scared that you're falling apart and might be in this "no place" forever. You may feel stuck and yet often it’s that uncomfortable shift from one place in your life to the next where the most growth occurs.
When I'm in this transition zone and fear that nothing is happening, I find comfort in the example of tulips. You plant them in the fall and they come up in the spring. In the intervening months, there appears to be nothing going on. You wouldn't think of digging them up in the middle of winter and yelling at them that they're "stuck" and admonishing them to "grow faster!" They are doing exactly what they need to do. And when all the circumstances needed for their flowering are in the right place, they appear and bloom. The same is true for your transitions. The wisdom that guides the flowers guides your life as well.
Here are the four things I share with clients to help them navigate change…
It’s Okay to Be in a Transition
Several years ago, when I was going through a particularly tough time, a friend shared her helpful theory. She said, “when everything is falling apart something new is about to breakthrough.” I’ve always remembered that and taken it to heart. It’s easy to get stuck in a quagmire of thinking that makes you fear that you’ll be trapped in this awful situation forever. Things change. Life changes. It usually gets better if we can allow our intuition to guide us. In the meantime, it helps to believe that we’ll get through this and emerge on the other side feeling better, more hopeful and with a deeper wisdom.
What Would Be Fun?
When you’re in a big life transition life often feels dreary and heavy. Your thinking may simply revolve around “what should I do to get out of this rut?” and you come up with a rehash of old options as a response. All the answers probably seem too difficult to achieve or require more effort and energy than you presently have available. Your first task is to get the energy moving in your life again. You want to get out of the emotional state that’s keeping you where you are. One of the best ways to achieve this is doing things that are enjoyable. It’s possible even in a pandemic! Some of this may need to be virtual for the time being. What’s fun for you? Most people find their energy shifts by doing simple things; reading a good book, doing something creative, listening to music, going to on a picnic, sitting by the beach, planning a get together with friends, taking a class or meeting new people. Begin now to plan something fun on a more regular basis.
What Are You Yearning For?
When you’re in a transition you may also be unclear about your future goals. It feels a lot easier to take actionable next steps when your intention is well-defined. What if it’s not? How do you move forward? Here’s a clue — what are you yearning for? Close your eyes. Put your hand over your heart. Take a deep breath and ask yourself that question. The answer may surprise you and provide some helpful next steps. People often report emotion-based words such as “ease,” “nature,” “adventure,” or “rest.” What words (or images) come to you? Once you have that information, open your eyes. What action steps could you take based on your answers? This is your intuition giving you a homework assignment. It may not be the ultimate guide to getting you unstuck but it’s the beginning of a roadmap. It’s the clues leading you out of where you are to where you want to be.
30 Minutes Could Change Your Life!
We all have an inborn guidance system that provides clear and accurate direction to create a successful and happy life. However, there are time we we need the “extra” insight from a gifted intuitive (that’s me!) to help us on our path.
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