"10 Steps to a New Life in a New Year"

(Reprint of an article from The American Cash Flow Journal, January 2004)

"If only." Two of the most regret-laden words in the English language. "If only" I'd taken that job. "If only" I hadn't taken that trip. And right now, "if only" becomes especially poignant because the end of another year marks the beginning of yet another round of regrets that you still can't seem to get it right.

But wait. There's new hope for the New Year. There is a way to get it right. And if you'll take a little time to learn how, next year at this time you'll be saying "If only I'd known about that sooner."

GET CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT
Being clear about what you want is often the first step in being able to create it. What work do you want to do? What changes would you like to make in your social life? What would an ideal spiritual life look like? How much money do you want to earn? What kind of activities do you want to be involved in? Is there anything that drains you? What could you let go of in order to create more balance and energy?

RECALL WHAT MADE YOU HAPPY WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD
When you were a child you probably had a much clearer idea about what made you happy. You were willing to try new things and take risks without too much thought. As you got older you probably felt a lot of restrictions, eventually feeling very out-of-touch with your true calling and purpose in life. You may have made a practice of overriding your inner messages in search of more pragmatic visions. Begin by taking some small steps towards those things that make you feel excited and alive.

CLIMB OUT OF THAT RUT
You know that your life needs to change. Perhaps you're in a rut, bored, or just desperate to do something new and you're willing to try anything! That's a clue from your intuition that a change is needed. The truth is we need challenge to thrive. How do you begin to figure out where to start when you don't know where you're going? One theory is that you already know what you want and need but you probably have a bad case of what I call the "yes-buts."

SAY "NO" TO YES-BUTS
Here are a few examples of "yes-buts" I've heard in the past: "I love to learn about healing. I'm always taking classes and reading books about this. It fascinates me. But, I couldn't make a living at this." Or "If I could go shopping every day I would be in heaven. I love fashion and color and love to advise my friends on their outfits. But, I've decided to go to business school because I can't shop and make money!"

ASK YOUR INTUITION FOR GUIDANCE
Both of these people had clear access to their dreams and passions and initially chose to ignore those inner messages for what appeared to be something more practical. While it may seem like an odd intuitive direction to love shopping as part of your mission in life, I'll tell you the end of the story. This client, I'll call Kay, ended up choosing to be an image consultant. In addition to working with executives, helping them to choose clothes and styles that fit their professional images, she also works with women who want to get off welfare. Kay gives seminars in self-confidence, interview skills, and dressing for success. Kay is someone who overcame her "yes-buts," trusted her intuition through the excitement that she felt, and created a wonderful business by serving others and making money at something she loved.

FOCUS ON WHAT'S WORKING
Our culture has been very invested in focusing on "what's wrong." For instance, when was the last time you heard of massive research funding for studying healthy, happy people? When was the last time you went to a therapist who asked you "What makes you happy?" Have you ever gone to a doctor who congratulated you on all the things that were working well in your body? There's power in the attitude of gratitude and positive focus. It's a potent tool for directing your life.

SHIFT YOUR THOUGHTS
If you buy the theory that what you focus on with your thoughts and beliefs is intensified in your life, why not put all your attention on what makes you happy, challenged and healthy? One of the techniques that works for me when I'm feeling upset is simply to ask myself, "Is there another way to think about this issue/concern/worry?" I catch myself in the early stages of worry and negative thinking and begin to focus on what I want instead of what I don't want.

KNOW THAT "NERVOUS" IS NORMAL WHEN YOU TAKE A RISK
Do you know that it's perfectly normal to feel resistance or anxiety when you attempt something new? I always feel it. I used to think it meant I shouldn't do the thing I was contemplating. I have a tendency to think too far into the future and become easily overwhelmed about how to get from here to there. I've come to understand that if something I desire is worth doing, I'll feel some nervousness. When you understand it's common to feel this way you'll more easily find a way to work through it and achieve success.

TAKE THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
I have found that many of us just take the path of least resistance. We're out of work, a job is offered, we might as well take it. The cliché that, "If you don't know where you're going you'll probably end up there" holds true in so many situations. We fail to check in with our inner guidance and ask, "Is this a good decision?" How will you know if you don't ask and if you do ask, how will you know the answer?? (Aren't you glad you asked?!)

MAKE THE FIRST STEP A SMALL STEP
The trick to breaking this habit of thought that afflicts many of us is two-fold; 1) just begin and 2) start small. Take a first step to what you feel excited about and then take another one and another one. Remain centered in the present. That's your point of power. Trust your inner direction from your intuition. When you follow your passion, excitement and inner knowing you'll discover what makes you happy and fulfilled. When you know what you want, there's a clear path to achieve it. Your guidance will show you the way.

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